Safe Speed Forums

“And this one has a limited top speed of 20 mph for our Portsmouth clientele and members of ‘Terrible Ache’ ”.

“Thank you very much for your custom Nick Mason, I’ll have them all delivered tomorrow”

_________________
The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

Chelsea Football Club car park on Saturday afternoon.

_________________
Malcolm W.
The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not represent the views of Safespeed.

"Ok I'll meet you in the car park at 11:30, you can't miss me I'll be in the red Ferrari"

Ferrari deny allegations that their sat nav system sends everyone to the same destination no matter how its programmed!

_________________
You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

"Sh*t I think I've been had ..... the geezer I bought it off told me they only made 5 of these and this one was the only one in the country"

Welcome to the" World Coke Dealer Conference" 2011!!

_________________
You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

"No sir, this car park is reserved for the penile extension clinic - nose jobs are in the next street."

"I bought a red one because I thought it would stand out"

Ferarri's choice of paint is a bit limited... even wheely bins are available in a wider range colours!

Given the weather in Britain - you can tell the optimists - they're the ones with soft tops!

_________________
Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

Come on Grabs - I'll be on holiday by the time you get around to posting up a new pic at this rate!

_________________
Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

I thought that you had done the messy deed for me, Ernest....

Seriously though I am pushed at the mo and despite having a quick look on the internet, I haven't found any suitable, non copyrighted pics yet, so I'm happy to run with this one or accept anyone's' offer of help...ta.

_________________
My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

It was just a top gap really - but why not nominate a poster - given I'll be away soon, and you have a lot on your (solid silver) plate.

Maybe we should throw it open for posters to put up pics for a week - we'll soon find one that is more popular than others!

You can make use of this until the end of the week if you like...

Shamelessly borrowed from PH for your enjoyment!

_________________
Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

Is anybody from the council here to explain how we are gonna get this lot into three recycling bins?!

Yeah they all belong to Wayne Rooney, every time one runs out of pertol he just dumps it here and buys a new one.

_________________
You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

Ha! try undertaking on your bl**dy motorbike now!

_________________
You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

PC Travisco thought he was being helpful by getting the timber, when he heard that his colleagues were trying to build up a case
He didn't realise they meant a case against a major Cornish smuggler, he thought it was a book case for the superintendent's motoring law books!

or

After reading Sir Walter Scott's "Ivanhoe", PC Brown came up with a new way to tackle villains while single manned!

_________________
Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

Since the tottenham riots, police batons are seen to be getting larger!

_________________
My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

"Yes Sarge, we've picked up the local fence and we're on our way back to the station."

_________________
My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

"These drug busts are getting rediculous Dibble. I've never seen spliffs so big!"

"When you said I'm getting a new post I thought you meant..."

PC Nailem: "You just decapitated a pedestrian Dibble"
PC Dibble: "Well she looked like she could do with a new roll"

_________________
The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

PC Jesus: “I’ve got something in my eye Nailem. Can you first take the log out of your own eye and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of my eye?"

PC Nailem: “Okay; good idea. I wondered why I was finding it difficult to get through doorways lately”

Add: Maybe PC Jesus should have gone to Specsavers

_________________
The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

"Tell the drowning guy we'll be there in a jiffy, and then all we'll need to do is build a rescue boat from this wood."

"Yes sarge I've arrested all the Poles"

_________________
You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

Doug "chippie" Sharpe-Chizell of Speedy Joiners Ltd said, "Yes, painting our works vehicles to resemble emergency vehicles reduces the time it takes us to get to jobs considerably"

_________________
You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

"Are you sure you are allowed to borrow it, to nip down to B and Q , on your day off, dear?"

_________________
My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

“Did I ever tell you you’re a chip off the old block PC Dibble?”

“I think you’ve got a chip on your shoulder PC Nailem”

P.C. Magoo’s first arrest..

_________________
The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

Look dear, when Charlie said I was holding onto his wood in the car he didn't mean ..... !!!!

When PC Dribble heard that Police were to build bridges with the local community, he got straight to work and started gathering materials.!!

_________________
You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)