Safe Speed Forums

Why men's letters are rarely published in agony aunt columns.

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Useless laws weaken necessary laws.

lmao! Glad he has his priorities in order!

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Science won over religion when they started installing lightning rods on churches.

Old one, but a good un

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"Are you sh**ing me?"
"John Spartan, you are fined one credit for a violation of the verbal morality statute."

"Dear Worried, of course you are concerned but you are making something out of nothing and upsetting yourself unnecessarily. All BMW valve covers leak oil."

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Fatshoutybloke

Definitely taking the right route on this one

One must have their priorities in the right order i.e. "THE BIKE COMES FIRST"

You wouldn,t like to be chasing a numpty on your bike and find oil gets on the back wheel and you lose it in a bend

You can always trade the wife in for a newer model!

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"There But For The Grace of God Go I"

"He Who Ain,t Made Mistakes Ain,t Made Anything"

Spannernut

This reminds me of another old classic:

Two bikers are pulled up at a stop sign. One looks up and sees a funeral procession starting by.

He pulls the bike to the side of the road, gets off, stands by its side, takes off his helmet, and bows his head. The procession passes by the intersection and the biker puts on his helmet, gets back on the bike, and starts it up.

The other biker comes over and says, "That was touching. I didn't know you had it in you."

The first biker responds, "Well, I guess it was the right thing to do - after all, I was married to her for 40 years."

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It's tricky doing nothing - you never know when you're finished

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Science won over religion when they started installing lightning rods on churches.

How about the chap who bought a Harley, but was terrified at the prospect of having to clean all the chrome every time he rode in a shower.

"Don't worry" said the dealer "just carry a tub of vaseline with you in your leathers. Keep the chrome coated and it'll stay shiney, rain or shine!"

Not long afterwards, the man starts dating a new girl, and they hit it off famously. Before long he is invited to dinner at her parents' house.

"There's just one thing;" she warns him "the first person to speak once the coffee is served, has to do all the washing up.

"No problem" thinks the man, confident in his ability to keep schtum.

Dinner is an awesome 5 course affair, with dishes upon dishes, and once the coffee is served, they all sink into silence, determined not to be the one to do all that washing up.

After 15 minutes drinking in silence, the man decides he can take no more, so decides he can make the old man talk. He leans over and gives his girlfriend the most passionate, deep-tongue kiss he can, right across the table in front of her father.

Nothing is said.

Determined to try harder, the man reaches under the table, and soon has the daughter biting her lip to stay silent.

Still nothing.

Determined more than ever to ellicit an outburst from her father, the man bends his girlfriend over the table, lifts up her skirt and proceeds to give her a vigorous seeing-to, but still faces nothing but stoney silence.

In a final bid not to be outdone, the man lifts up the wife, bends her over the table, and gives her the same treatment as her daughter, but even now the father is utterly silent.

Just then a clap of thunder sounds in the distance and the man thinks, "Oh no! My Harley!!" He whips the pot of vaseline out of his pocket, and is making his way round the table, to pass the father towards the door when the father jumps up and says:

"Okay okay! I'll do the bloody washing up!!"