Safe Speed Forums

A surprising number of people turned up for the first "I've Had My Phone Hacked by the News Of The World" support group meeting.

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

A council cctv team were in attendance waiting to pounce if any of the car owners emptied their ash tray into the wrong colour bin.!!

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

PC Brown was in the Drive Thru at McDonalds getting his lunch order of fries, when he was asked if he wanted that order supersized...

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Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

I’d like to throw in a couple of jokes an O.T. at work just told me, while we’re waiting on you Zipps

I noticed the compost on my vegetable patch at the bottom of my garden looked like it had got thicker somehow the other day. The day after, to my astonishment, the same thing happened but it’s none of my doing. This morning it was visibly deeper by about two inches I would say and I still can’t understand why.

The plot thickens...


For some time now I’ve had a ghost in my house and I swear it has the same face of Gloria Gaynor. At first I was afraid, I was petrified...

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

Is there something I should be doing ???

With a nod to Grabs .....
"Yes sarge I have the fence in custody, I'm pretty sure we'll be able to nail him good and proper this time"

"Are you quite sure we only need an end marker if its sticking out the back?"

PC Dribble - "Hey sarge"
Sarge - "Yes"
PC Dribble - "You know how you sent us to arrest that lady that claimed to be a witch?"
Sarge - "Yes"
PC Dribble - "Well when we got there Charlie said to her, "It you're a witch i'm a bunch of planks"
Sarge - "And?"
PC Dribble - "Guess what!!!"

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

After the speed camera incident, Police are having a crackdown on planking, but PC Dribble seems to have got the wrong end of the stick!! http://www.safespeed.org.uk/forum/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=24905

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

Sorry Zippo, I meant Graball The man who stole first place from me.

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

No probs mate, my memory is ummm let's just say a tad vague sometimes, there might well have been something slipped by

Detective Sarge Holdem to Inspector Stitchem - "You know how we refer to uniform branch as wooden tops? .... well now we have the proof!!"

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

"PC Dribble, I said go find out where he planked the loot, not go and loot some planks!!"

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You only need two tools - WD40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use duct tape. :0)

Sent a pic to Claire for cap comp 12 but I'm afraid it aint as funny as some of the last few but best I can find...sorry!

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

Hey, no worries Grabby. Don't underestimate the ability of posters to extract the ridiculous from absolutely anything.

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

Stores managers at parcelforce, wonder where all that pillar box red paint went from the storerooms.

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

I could be wrong on this runs off to check but im pretty sure saying there name is fine.


comes back from check
" While we are quite happy to have constructive comparative conversations about competitors products, we will not tolerate blatant advert threads. Also, we would appreciate it if you refrain from blatant bashing of other boards."

So I think where ok

No you're not

SPLAT!!!

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"Show me someone who says that they have never exceeded a speed limit, and I'll show you a liar, or a menace." (Austin Williams - Director, Transport Research Group)

Any views expressed in this post are personal opinions and may not represent the views of Safe Speed