Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: -
Knowing when to come in out of the rain
Why the early bird gets the worm
Life isn't always fair; and
Maybe it
was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge!).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, outlawing smacking, which only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin, sun lotion or a plaster to a kid; but could not inform parents when a kid became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home or the burglar could sue you for assault.
Just when you thought things couldn’t get worse, road safety throughout the country was entrusted to speed cameras in combination with an absurd lowering of speed limits despite advances in car and road design & construction and completely ignoring all other real contributory factors and facts.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by his three stepbrothers; I Know My Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame, and I'm A Victim. There were two other late stepbrothers, Why Bother Paying Attention and No Spatial Awareness, whom both got killed walking into roads wearing iPods and gawping at their mobile phones.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. But if you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
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