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Sources suggest that no new legislation will be required. Ministerial orders under existing legislation will establish a new ASDO or Antisocial Dissent Order to be used against members of the public who express discontent or disagreement with government policy.

According to a leaked memo written by Alec Alexander-Cook, Junior Minister for Public Affairs, "Since Tony Blair became Prime Minister we have taken great strides in creating a well-ordered, placid and prosperous society. Our moves against terrorists, motorists, litter-louts, smokers and the obese have gained wide public acceptance, and more recently experts have welcomed government advice to those who drink alcohol in excess of government-recommended limits.

"Hooliganism, vandalism, violent or insulting behaviour have all been effectively stigmatised, poor parenting can now be formally identified and corrected, and the concept of racial motivation for any kind of negative behaviour or statement has been extended into every level of public life, from schools to parliament, from books and newspapers to mass-appeal television.

"The coming introduction of ID cards and proposals for widespread traffic-monitoring for the purpose of road charging will provide a further opportunity to clamp down on antisocial behaviour by members of the public.

"The next logical step is to ensure that government efforts to protect the calm of society in general are not frustrated by irresponsible journalists, writers, website proprietors and bloggers who question or challenge them for reasons of political bias, racial/religious prejudice or a simple desire for anarchy."

Unofficial sources close to ministers believe that other targets for the new ASDO may include teachers and priests who publicly suggest that government motives and methods are questionable, members of minority political parties and campaigning pressure groups, and even charities.

Complaining public servants such as judges, magistrates, army and police officers, and even former members of such professions who use their retirement as an excuse to express dissatisfaction with government policy, will also be under close scrutiny.

A spokesman for the Liberal Democrat party said today that he will be calling for a parliamentary debate, and one of the minor parties most at risk, the BNP, claimed that "Now the three major parties have moved so close together that their policies are virtually indistinguishable, this news is not surprising. There is little or no dissent in parliament, and now the government want to banish it from the country as a whole".

The most surprising thing about this news is how very unsurprised most informed sources are. This country already has more public surveillance than any other, and government intervention in all facets of public and private life has become the norm. In a divided world ridden with terrorism and under constant threat from climate change, many see freedom of thought and opinion as a frivolous luxury we can no longer afford.

...to be used against members of the public who express discontent or disagreement with government policy.

It's a spoof.

Isn't it?