Safe Speed Forums

"This cap is the only thing I have bought from new in twenty years. I'll be damned if I'm going to get it wet!"

(I sponged off ya there Pete )

Seriously - look at his cap; it's incongruous...

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

When you said "let the clutch in slowly", I thought you said "Let the slutch in slowly!".

Sorry if there are southerners who don't know what slutch is!

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Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

Never seen any such slutch north of you ,must just be native to Cumbria ,like all those landlocked submariners

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lets bring sanity back to speed limits.
Drivers are like donkeys -they respond best to a carrot, not a stick .Road safety experts are like Asses - best kept covered up ,or sat on

Shock as escaped experimental nanotechnology begins dissolving residents of Idmiston near Porton Down

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Driving fast is for a particular time and place, I can do it I just only do it occasionally because I am a gentleman.
- James May

Whilst traversing the 'ford', a quick thinking sub-mariner, saves the day !

A farmer is said to have been happy with performance of new 4x4 while herding cattle, however the same cannot be said of the cattle!

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Safe Speed for Intelligent Road Safety through proper research, experience & guidance.

The new FjORD Ranger 4x4

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Views expressed are personal opinions and are not necessarily shared by the Safe Speed campaign

my brain has been musing on this in the background and i just can't get beyond the understated:

"left hand down a bit"

"I only wanted to road spray a pedestrian but it’s deeper than I thought".

"Well, at least it doesn’t matter if I pee myself now".

"I think a shark has just eaten my elbow".

"What an unusual car wash, I wonder what the wax and polish will be like".

"I wonder if the missus is okay in the boot".

"What on earth could be causing that misfire?"

Passer by shouts "Hey stupid – I think your gene pool could use a little chlorine".


Okay – I think I’m done now. Been thinking about these all the way down from Stoke, (Two hours!)

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

ha ha , some very good ones there, Tone....I have the same sense of humour when I have to visit Stoke (appologies to all Stokies but a terrible place to drive round)...

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

"hey ,this is the new South African model ,they measure the engine output in Hippo power and it looks like it's trying to get back to it's favourite mud"

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lets bring sanity back to speed limits.
Drivers are like donkeys -they respond best to a carrot, not a stick .Road safety experts are like Asses - best kept covered up ,or sat on

"I think the engine's flooded"

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Only when ideology, prejudice and dogma are set aside does the truth emerge - Kepler

Thunderbird six failed it's first trial .

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lets bring sanity back to speed limits.
Drivers are like donkeys -they respond best to a carrot, not a stick .Road safety experts are like Asses - best kept covered up ,or sat on

"If the water comes up any further, I'll just breath through this straw!"

or

"Damn! First I get stuck in this ditch, now I got a coolant leak!"

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Time to take responsibility for our actions.. and don't be afraid of speaking out!

some brilliant entries coming in, this is going to be sooo hard to judge but keep em coming, I'm laughing my socks off here....

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

How about..."These new car washes are quite something aren't they?"

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

Oi you! Stop teasing me

Ahem... Well I didn't expect the pool car from work to be quite like this.

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

Oh, I forgot about my twice winning caption - it almost applies here too, so I might as well try it on:

"When I said ‘let’s push the boat out when we buy our new car’, I didn’t mean…… "

Can lightning strike three times?

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Views expressed are personal opinions and are not necessarily shared by the Safe Speed campaign

No harm trying Steve, although I think you could adapt it to "...when we buy our next car".

That way you get around Safe Speed's law on 'Copywrite for Caption Competitions' I think. (Also known as CCC© )

That's how Grabby does it (Just kiddin' mate )

It could also be 'Copywrite for Caption Competitions Protocol' but that would make it CCCP, which means something completely different

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The views expressed in this post are personal opinions and do not necessarily represent the views of Safe Speed.
You will be branded a threat to society by going over a speed limit where it is safe to do so, and suffer the consequences of your actions in a way criminals do not, more so than someone who is a real threat to our society.

I thought you might try that one (again) Steve and wanted to find one that didn't involve water but couldn't at short notice...

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.

I've only just read this one, (must have missed it before) and it has had me in tears...could be the best so far but keep them coming, still a long way to go yet!

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My views do not represent Safespeed but those of a driver who has driven for 39 yrs, in all conditions, at all times of the day & night on every type of road and covered well over a million miles, so knows a bit about what makes for safety on the road,what is really dangerous and needs to be observed when driving and quite frankly, the speedo is way down on my list of things to observe to negotiate Britain's roads safely, but I don't expect some fool who sits behind a desk all day to appreciate that.